Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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