You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
