I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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