no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
