Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
