I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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