Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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