I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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