I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I understand Curling. That high.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
