It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
