she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize