Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
