Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my sisters under your porch take her home
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
