my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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