So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
