Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
