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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
well you can't waste a boner
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
