I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
