Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
