I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
