New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
