I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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