YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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