For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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