I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm so fucking centered right now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
