id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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