grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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