At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
