i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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