Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
