butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
