She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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