Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize