I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
