handjob tips. give me some.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
