Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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