If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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