I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
