How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it's like iHOP with fire
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
