I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
