I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
