Do you still have your period?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
