i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We're too hungover to prance.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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