those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
