How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
being pregnant is like rehab
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
