I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
