ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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