Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
