my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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