mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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