i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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