Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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