that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
