Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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