My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
