If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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