...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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