Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
