mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
