2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize