I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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