Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Plan B is the new Plan A
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
