Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize