I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
