Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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