Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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