so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
