I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
