A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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