3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
