i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
