yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
