Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
