let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
