I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
