And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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