I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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