i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
