put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
