My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
