another moral hangover. fuck.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
