I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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